Before having the courage to write this, I have wrote several essays and poems — all about pain.
Believe me when I say that I have been through the darkest tunnel. I thought I wouldn’t be able to find a ray of light, but I did! I have to do this because some may still be searching for what I have found. We may never be in the same page, we may be having different dilemma, but I’m sure we have one thing in common: we are thirsty for genuine happiness.
I had hit rock bottom, during those times, I deemed that the crash was too painful, I thought I could never get up. I reached the point where I questioned Him, “Is this for real?” “I never did anything severe, why do You have to punish me?” After a lot of blaming, finger pointing, hurting, I realized that good past away earlier than bad because it has already done its part; leave a good mark to serve as a guide. “Then why do bad stay?” Because learning is infinite.
Bottomline? The world may be unfair, but it never run out of chances. Never stop, don’t quit.
Negativity is an incurable disease. It will continue to be carried out by anyone you will meet along the way, let them. Be angry, cry, sleep, eat, smoke, drink. Do everything to dust it off, but be sure that you will wake up stronger than yesterday. Because that’s the cycle of life, it will continue to chase you until you have picked up the most important lesson you need to grasp.
Then what’s mine? What I have picked up in that nick of time? I learned that no one should invalidate my experience, no one has the right to, and that no one can ever fix me aside from myself. “How can I do that if my self is the source of my problem?” You are never a problem, you need to assure that to yourself. The problem lies around you. Take a break from those ugly scenarios. I paused looking at people and/or things that makes me feel thousand of emotions. If you deemed that you need to leave, leave. Trust yourself. Forgive when someone has caused you unbearable pain. Love when you are ready to be wounded again. You don’t need voices that will tell you don’t deserved to be stabbed. Instead, search in a sea of people a person who is willing to listen, to just listen and to just let you scream at the top of your lungs. Yes, they exist. And the most important of all, keep living.
