Eventful evening

Tonight, I learn two important things in life: contentment and acceptance.

I was never a fan of failure. I am the type of person who would always overthink things despite giving my best effort. However, tonight was a different situation. To give a brief background, I was tasked to do something in the office for one of our campaigns. What made this difficult is that I was not used to doing this back in college or even in my pastime. I was never a fan of being in front of the camera. But I did it anyway. There’s no harm in trying. The moment someone shouted that the video recording was on, nerves immediately ate my confidence. I was sweating mildly but it was enough for me to feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I felt that during the 30 minute shoot, I was such a big burden to the people inside that small room. I don’t like feeling that way.

For years, I was trying to be the best in everything that I do. I need to come up with better articles. I need to produce better plans for work. I should dance gracefully during school presentations. I must be always the best. I couldn’t remember the last time that I settled to be the second best. In admitting that someone is better than me or there’s something I’m not good at is never written on my vocabulary. When I feel like the things that I’m doing would turn out bad, I would never stop thinking about it. I would only stop when my mind seems to be so tired that I would eventually give up on it. Giving up would take a toll on my mental stability. And it’s the last thing that I want to experience — being mentally unstable.

Tonight, I learn how to accept defeats and failures. That sometimes, I am allowed to be weak and weary. That I will never be good in everything despite learning how to or at least trying to be. That I’m no extraordinary. This was such a hard thing to swallow but when I mustered up the courage to utter the words: you will never be the best in everything, I felt a huge amount of pressure was lifted off of my back. I am now more content with knowing different functions but being an expert in one or two of them. Nonetheless, realizing these lessons will never hinder me from accepting new challenges or discovering more things in life. It will only make me eager to know more but I am now secured in myself that if I fail, and I know for a fact that it will happen, I will wholeheartedly accept it.

We can only see the beauty in failing once we take off our mask of pride and ego.

Apart from our end goal of success, we should enjoy the ride to pick up valuable takeaways in life. And I think the journey is always meaningful than the end mark.

Work in progress